First Lutheran Church

This New Year will be a time of transition. There are some things we should think about as we move forward. Have you ever noticed how poorly people treat each other? We’ve all been there. Why are we so quick to put down or look down on other people? Is it because there’s no way to make ourselves feel better? That can’t be it, because when it comes to others, the only way to improve our lives is to help them. There is a place for constructive criticism, and we all need it. None of us is above the objective, truthful, and loving correction of someone who has our best interest in mind. What kind of friends do you have? Do they tell you the truth in love, or do they tell you what you want to hear? Your best friends will level with you, even at the risk of alienating you for a while. This is how we grow, learn and change for the better. Whereas constructive criticism can be encouraging and helpful to others, most criticism is quite destructive. Destructive criticism attempts to deflect the attention from the real issue, which might be something as basic as jealousy. Destructive criticism takes the attention away from the person doing the criticizing, and that may be where the real problem lies. Destructive criticism is motivated by fear—fear of being discovered, fear of being criticized, or fear of having to be open and honest. Have you ever taken apart the word RESPECT? RE is “again.” SPECT is “to see.” RESPECT is “to see again.” This can be a challenge because we like to think our perspective is the one and only correct view. But in the practice of respecting the other, we let go of our defensiveness or self-righteousness. We see again. We love others by viewing them as beloved children of God and seeking to truly understand their point of view, even if we find we cannot agree with it. And when we do disagree, we speak and act with kindness, clarity, and decency for Jesus’ sake. But speak we must, because healthy, respectful relationships involve letting others know our views and our relations, even when we must express hurt or anger. Jesus counseled, “If another member of the church sins against you, go and point out the fault when the two of you are alone. If the member listens to you, you have regained that one” (Matthew 18:15). Instead of pretending nothing has happened, or cold shoulder, or speaking harmful words, we respect others enough to speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15). When you are motivated by love, you are less likely to be critical of others, because you’ll have their best interest in mind.

See you in church,

Pastor Michael